Wedding invites from Uber Angel
Wedding invites from Uber Angel
Posted using ShareThis
Posted using ShareThis
The rehearsal at Harris Pelham Inn…
What a great day! the sun was shining, the birds were singing and the location was spectacular. This wedding has a planner, thank goodness, so she had the hard task of organizing people into their correct spots.
The wedding party were full of high spirits and had a great sense of fun. This di help alleviate some of the stress being felt by the bride. She was very very nervous. She is convinced that she won’t make it through the vows..she will…I’ll make sure of it.
There will be lots of tissues needed though.
The Harris Pelham Inn is stunning, truly stunning. The simple elegance of the interior is beautifully enhanced by green lawns and a lake as a backdrop. This particular wedding is outdoors in the pergola, so it has added beauty from all the greenery and the flowers.
The dragonflies were buzzing our heads as we discussed the days events and plans for tomorrow. They have always been considered lucky and I took them as a good sign to the couple. I love officiating at the weddings of second or third time around couples, they certainly know what to appreciate about their new spouse. It’s a totally different feel than the excitement of a first wedding. No less exciting, but somehow more deep and thoughtful. If the excitement of a first timer is a flame, then I would equate the excitement of the second or third timer as a smoldering red coal.
I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.
The wedding…
Oh thank goodness! The bride was radiant, the groom as charming as ever, the groomsmen delightful to spend time with at the altar. Beautiful, beautiful people.
I deliberately stayed away from the throng, to avoid a repeat of the mass input of the rehearsal. Several of the guests sought me out, and asked questions, but anything presented with good manners is always accepted. The were all good questions, and hopefully helped by my answers.
I told the groom when to view his bride, and asked him what he had done to deserve such a beautiful woman, it must have been something really good.
His face glowed with pride and love as she walked towards us..the bridesmaids had tears for her beauty, and they were well deserved.
The rain stayed away even thought the clouds darkened the sky. The ocean boiled, and the wind whipped up…but still the raindrops dared not fall on the beauty of this bride.
Regardless of the stresses involved, it was truly an honour to be present at this occasion. This is what this job is all about…
The rehearsal…
It was a little stressful, as rehearsals tend to be. The worst mistake people make is not thinking about what they would like before they get there. Even after a lot of questions and answers, there are a lot of things to decide.
Who is in the wedding party? What’s going to happen with mom’s? How many parents are there? Do they talk to each other? Are they being escorted?
Flower girl? Ring bearer? Groomsmen, Bridesmaids? Maid of Honour?
In this case, nothing was certain. There were certainly a lot of opinions. All valid. A suggestion when planning your rehearsal. Choose who is making the decisions…bride and groom are good choices for this. For the bride…be nice! For the groom, step up, make some decisions and help out your bride!
Too much input = chaos = costs you more for my time. You get one hour.
The logistics of the venue are explored for the first time. It’s actually a good idea to visit the site a couple of times prior to the rehearsal and walk the space when it’s not costing you money to do so. Add to that the time spent for everyone else. Outdoor venue? Check where the wind comes from…it may not be the prettiest spot, but it could be the best…photos can be taken at any location.
Today’s rehearsal took almost 2 hours…so that made it 4 hours input today. Doesn’t seem like much, but it’s half a working day, flat rate payment. Not hourly. The bride and groom were charming, but that could not be said of all people. My husband was watching from the sidelines and being in a park, was not perceived as being involved. The comments from one ‘gentleman’ made his blood boil to the point of us bowing out of the planned meal afterward. This person criticized the little ‘brochures’ that I made free of charge, which explained what happens at a rehearsal and outlined the customized ceremony of the day. The same person charged off in my direction claiming that the flower girl and ring bearer should link arms to process and I was ignorant. Once he got to me, he was received with a polite ‘no’. How may I ask does the child scatter flowers whilst carrying a basket and being link armed with another? He did not retreat in his insistence. I don’t even know who this person was. I was not introduced and have no clue.
His hostility increased as the rehearsal progressed to the point of hampering the proceedings. One child was out of synch when he practised and he yelled at me for that too! I was not feeling happy when I left. Such a shame. The couple are awesome and deserve all happiness. I am determined not to let it influence me for the wedding. I felt upset mainly because I am the Minister, not a wedding planner or organizer. The officiant does not ‘plan’ the seating, the music etc…but often is expected to do all this as the officiant, but at the same charge as a JP, or much much less than a church wedding.
This ‘gentleman’ was annoyed as he expected me to organize everything..not my job unfortunately. However, I should have refused to do it, rather than my kindhearted attempt to help them out. It’s clearly stated in my contract. His challenging comments and loud criticisms threw me off my stride, I didn’t expect to get heckled. Still don’t know who he was. Then he lectured me on the wedding party being ‘not balanced’ from a photography point of view..Okay, I didn’t invite them, there were 2 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids, how could I change that?
Tough day.
One day to go….
Last night my bride tells me that she’s worried. she just found out that a national charity is holding their sponsored walk at her wedding location and the walk is scheduled to end only 2 hours prior to her ceremony. Yes, that would worry ME too…and it does a little. But not for the same reasons as the bride. Obviously at her end there is the worry of milling sports walkers spoiling all her hard planned logistics. Taking up the space that her guest need, and of course parking. Let’s hope that all the stragglers are located away from the area that we need. We won’t let her day be spoiled.
My worry is that I now have to add extra time to my travel arrangements. I know that it will take me longer than the expected 1¼ hours to get there. Now we have increased my input time to about 4-5 hours for that day. Add that to the 3-4 hours for the rehearsal, and the 4 hours for vows, contact etc..I’m up to 13 hours of input. Hourly rate of less than 20 dollars. And that includes the fuel I have to purchase…takes me down to less than 15 per hour. I don’t mind…because I love to do weddings. But I’m just providing another example of why it costs what it costs to hire an officiant.
Two days….
The countdown begins. What are things that I have to organize today?
Well, my robe is cleaned and hanging in a protective bag. My shoes are cleaned and in their protective bag. My spare shoes are cleaned, and my third pair for muddy conditions are packed also. Pants and shirt are ready. I will, of course check these about 50 times before the wedding.
The vows are printed and placed in my book for the ceremony. My music stand is ready and decorated for the outdoor wedding [i use it as a bookholder], my PA system has fresh batteries and is set for the approximate sound quality to save time at the rehearsal.
My suit and shoes are ready for the rehearsal. Not too formal as it helps people relax if I am a little casual, but formal enough that I can get their attention and have them listen to me on such an exciting occasion.
The mapquest directions are printed and in a file along with copies of all the conversations that we have ever had. Drafts of other vows are included to allow for last minute changes if needed. PDA is loaded with examples of vows.
Contact numbers and cell information of the bride, groom and a third person at the wedding are printed and in the file. Everything has two copies stored separately in my Palm and on paper..double indemnity.
Umbrella, pins, pens, glue, first aid kit, Tide pen, tissues, aspirin, bottles of water? Check.
Digital camera, several sets of batteries, packed and easy to get to. Fanny pack for storing said items under robe.
Bug spray, hair products, mirror, spare ring pillow, white ribbons, candles, matches, hmmm…am I forgetting anything?
Decorative wedding certificate, after wedding instruction letter, printed decorative copy of vows. License information, copy of contract, I think that does it…
Who said it only takes 20 minutes to perform a wedding? Phew!
Wedding in Lynch Park…
I’m pretty excited right now as I have a wedding this weekend in a park in Beverly, MA. Very pretty location with a rose garden and great views.
Go here for more information on Lynch Park.
This couple were extremely easy to get along with. The vows only took 3 revisions and were well received. I like park weddings when the ceremony is in a set place, such as this rose garden. The space is well defined and easy to locate. It’s impossible to have bad photos [even the bad ones look good], even if it rains…the natural beauty of the setting leads to a very relaxed ceremony. The guests are free to move around if they have to, and small children don’t feel so confined.
The weather forecast says there’s 30% chance of precipitation, so my trust brolly gets to go with me. The good thing about a robe is that I can layer up underneath it and it still looks the same. Bad thing..it’s black and in the height of summer, I bake.
The rehearsal is on Saturday, with a dinner afterwards at the Victoria Station in Salem, MA. I love that place. Their salad bar is excellent! The wedding is on Sunday. I don’t usually stay for the reception. Several reasons; one thing is that I don’t see why the couple should have to pay for another person at an event that is already expensive, sometimes two people if my husband is driving me. The second is that I am a relative stranger to most of the couples, having met and corresponded only on the subject of their ceremony. It just doesn’t feel right to include myself into a personal celebration. The exception to this are of course buffet lunches, and beach weddings. If it’s a free for all style reception, I will stay as invited for a little while. To hear the speeches etc. The high point of my day is the ‘you may kiss the bride’ part…when the couple breathes that huge sigh of relief and get ready for the hugs. I like to leave on a high note.
Oh..on that note…for those planning your wedding and parking etc. Please make sure no-one blocks in the officiants vehicle. Many times I have had to interrupt a song at the reception to have an announcement made to move cars to let me out…now I put a sign on my vehicle ‘Minister - Do NOT block in’ It makes sense that everyone else is staying longer than me, but I am one of the first to arrive.
Budget considerations………..
When planning your wedding it is not surprising that the budget is the most worrying part. Everything seems so expensive and planning where the money is best spent can be a very stressful experience.
If you are lucky enough to have no budget restraints, then I suggest hiring a planner, have them do all the hard work, and just pay the bills. That has to be the most stress free way to get married, ever. In these cases the most troublesome issue is probably the papparazzi.
For the rest of the world, budget constraints give the most headaches. So, what can you expect?
First things first, who is paying for what? Get this signed and sealed before you even start. Make a list of what you need, number of guests, special needs etc and get ready to get quotes.
For a formal wedding the majority of your budget is going to be spent on reception fees. The venue, the seating, the food, etc. etc. Factor in about 60-70% of your budget costs here. If quality is an issue, consider reducing the number of guests. If family party is your priority, consider a less renowned or more unique location. For example, one couple took their entire party for a picnic in the park…baskets were given to each guest, and the costs were halved.
Bear in mind that the reception needs a certain layout for the traditional parts of the wedding, speeches, dances etc. So it’s not always possible to cut the venue down to just a restaurant…but it’s your day. If you don’t want the rigmarole, then don’t have it..get married, relax, enjoy the company of those you love on your special day. Families with many children between them, would be better off having a bouncy castle for all the children, and a pizza menu. A decorated space for the adults to relax and celebrate, and everyone will be happy. What child will relate the ‘fabulous’ wedding they went to, when they were told to sit, be quiet, eat the food it’s good for you, and listen to the adults pontificate. Tailor the event to your guests. My last beach wedding was wonderful, all the guests went swimming and then boating, and the reception was on a lawn with BBQ grills going. Don’t get me wrong, all the food being cooked was very high quality, from steaks and lobster to the champagne and strawberries. The couple spent wisely. For the guests the special treat was the fact that they had about 15 wedding cakes from a gourmet bakery, and cookies with real lavender flowers baked in. I have rarely seen a wedding where absolutely everyone was catered to with such ease. It was a true celebration.
The Dress……..[coming soon]
