October 5, 2009 at 8:40 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: 2009, bride, ceremony, getting hitched, good luck, marriage, married, marry, minister, officiant, officiants, vows, wedding, wedding day, weddings
I was lucky enough to be contacted back in February by a great couple who I then proceeded to meet at my favourite Panera for tea. We had a nice long interesting chat and got along really well. The big family wedding was then booked for September.
I have never worked with such laid back people. They said ‘write us something’ so I did. The viewed it and only made two changes to the text, to include personal references that their family would enjoy sharing. In the middle of all this excitement they were actually working on their house construction project. My first visit to view the area where the wedding was to take place in their back yard, was enhanced by home made coffee cake and Tetley British Blend Tea. Just as well. we were looking at the stunning back yard, which at that point was a big marsh. The rain had been coming down steadily for days and there was simply no grass. Just mud. Add in the construction work and you can see why they needed an expert eye on the plot.
The space was perfect, and we had a couple of months to go, so I was not worried. I kept a close eye on FaceBook for accounts of the construction progress and watched as a beautiful home was transformed into a stunning home. I got regular updates such as ‘Debi, we have railings!’ accompanied by pictures of the extended and now ’safe’ deck.
The day arrived. I drove to their home which was filled to the brim with happy people. The brides were very informal and this was a great wedding. More like a family and friends party with an added extra. I love those!
We decided against the spot chosen for the ceremony as [you guessed it] it was raining persistently. So the new deck was christened in a very special way. And, yes, it had railings. The yard was tented off and the seating protected from the rain. The food was excellent and the company was good. What more could you want ?
Congratulations to you both!
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July 11, 2009 at 9:07 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, marriage, officiant, superstitions, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: beach, dog, simple, surprise, touching, vows, wedding
Yesterday I had the pleasure of officiating at a surprise wedding by a beach. Bearing in mind that here in NH we have had about 8 sunny days in a month and the rest have been torrential downpour days, I was apprehensive of a beach location.
The weather gods were smiling down on us however, and the day was sunny, bright and cheerful.
The bride and groom had planned the whole thing as a cookout style party for their immediate family and the wedding was a secret.
We watched the faces of the guests as they arrived and then saw me in my robe next to Adrienne wearing a veil and holding a bouquet. I loved her outfit, almost a retro feel to the knee length dress in white with turquoise and her matching paper rose bouquet. This bride had STYLE! I loved it.
Tears were shed, hugs were given, Teddy the dog had her belly rubbed by me about 10 times…this couple had such love for each other and their families that no words, flowers, poetry or grand venues could have lived up to. The simplicity of the ceremony enhanced the joy and happiness that shone from them both at having found each other.
Congratulations Adrienne and Eric [and Teddy]!
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June 21, 2009 at 9:41 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, nerves, officiant, superstitions, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: blended family, cords, handfasting, sand ceremony
June 20th 2009 – Cathedral of the Pines, Rindge, NH, USA
What a great ceremony! I’ve worked with this couple for over a year planning this day, I was almost as excited as they were. Cathedral of the Pines is a stunning location in Rindge NH, which has opened it’s grounds to wedding parties. There is an outdoor altar for which the backdrop is Mount Monadnock. It’s open to the public until 5pm in season and they rope off the path to the wedding circle while the wedding is in progress. They have gardens and a fountain of life dedicated to Nursing staff which features a sculpted tree bearing fruit in the centre. The staff are extremely professional and run everything like clockwork, so you get the feel of a park wedding with the benefits of a venue.
This ceremony was a handfasting wherin I bound the couple with 6 cords, each cord had a specific intent/vow associated with it. I had one of the wedding party carry the cords for me and hand them one at a time as I needed them. As the entire wedding party was made up of the happy couple and their three sons, it was very intimate. The young man in charge of the cords was very solemn and undertook his duties with great aplomb.
The hand tying done, I removed the cords, still knotted and placed them on the marble altar. There was an exchange of rings which was handled by the remaining two sons, they carried and handed over the rings to each parent, and one young man gave us quite the chuckle by teasing Mom with an “uhoh!” then laughed and took out the ring.
The pronouncement made, The Cathedral bells rang 3 times and then we performed a blended family Sand Ceremony. Each member of the family had chosen a quality that they celebrated within their home.
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Sand, Vase, sculptures of family
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Closeup of the engraving/monogram
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Closeup of the individual vials of sand
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Bringing of Mother and Son to the family
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Bringing of Father and two Sons to the family
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The completed ceremony and braided handfasting cord
After each family member had stepped up and given their vow, the vase was sealed and the family blessed. The sand ceremony was thus concluded and the family was joined.
After the wedding party left for photos, I then completed the wedding ceremony by braiding both ends of the handfasting cords. This leaves the wedding knot in the middle of a braid. that now cannot now be undone without intent. I recommend that the couple attach a small bell to the bottom of the cord and hang it on the back of their bedroom door. If the door is slammed in anger, the bell will sound. This has a dual purpose; the sound of the bell will alert the spouse to the anger and the sound will remind the person who is angry of what brought them to that place as a married couple. The vows are in the cords and serve as a constant reminder of the intent and work needed to honour that intent.
As for the sand, the vase once sealed takes a place of honour in the household and is a daily symbol of the joining of unique individuals into a cohesive group who have chosen to share their lives with each other.
Congratulations Lewis, Marci, Brandon, Bailey and Cooper!
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June 8, 2009 at 5:30 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
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The Library Room, view from the back
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The Unity Candle Table
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Looking down the aisle to the program table
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Fireplace and votives
Congratulations to Thomas and Jennifer who were married on Saturday, June 6th, 2009 at the Courtyard Marriott Hotel, in Boston, MA.
The couple celebrated their ceremony in the Library Room with their friends and family. A truly beautiful setting which my amateur photographs really don’t do justice. [from Bride :
Thanks Debi! The link to our professional wedding photos is: http://www.theprosphotos.com
Go to the Guests login and enter June, 2009, and Jennifer or Thomas, then click on the link with our names]
The couple had a double ring exchange ceremony which also included a unity candle ceremony. The individual candles were lit by the couples respective mothers, and a memorial candle was honoured for the deceased.
The ceremony was simple, touching and highly emotive. The personal vows celebrated the love and respect that Thomas and Jennifer have for each other as individuals and together as husband and wife.
The reading for the ceremony was an ancient Chinese reading, which is still appropriate today in it’s wisdom.
“The key to love is understanding…
The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word,
but those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves.
The key to love is forgiveness…
to accept each others faults and pardon mistakes,
without forgetting, but by always learning and adapting.
The key to love is sharing…
Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;
both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness.
The key to love is giving…
without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile,
and by giving in but never giving up.
The key to love is respect…
realizing that you are two separate people with different ideas;
that you don’t belong to each other, that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.
The key to love is inside us all…
It takes time and patience to fully comprehend all that love can provide;
it is a continual learning process that demands a lot of work…
but the rewards are more than worth the effort…
and that is the key to love.”
Congratulations, Thomas and Jennifer!
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November 21, 2008 at 12:31 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: backyard, baptist, bride, ceremony, couple, groom, intimate, low cost, parents, religious, wedding
Last weekend I received a call from a young lady who was thinking of getting married ‘in the next few days’. she asked that I call her back. We played phone tag for a while, and when I eventually reached her she explained that they just wanted to get married with no or minimal fuss. I asked a few vital questions. Do you know what you want to say? No, just bring whatever you usually do. Do you want a civil or religious? Well, the grooms parents are Baptists, so we’ll have a religious ceremony please. What day? Wednesday. What time? Noon. Do you have your license? Yes. Okay, see you then.
How easy was that? I wish they all went that way.
I arrived at the parents home early to have the couple look over the ceremony that I had written for them. They were very calm and both approved the ceremony with no changes required. Introductions were made. We chose an indoor location as it was very, very, very cold outside. Gotta love New England in November. Father of the groom took photos of the 5 people in the room. I waited until everyone was settled. Couple were in front of a fireplace decorated with wedding balloons. The ceremony began and when it came to the vows, the bride shed a few tears. We paused for her groom to comfort her and I always encourage hugs. Concluded the ceremony, and everyone was happy. I gave them a printed copy of their vows on rose paper, for scrapbooking or framing purposes. And that was that!
For a hassle free wedding at very low cost, they were just as married as the couples spending thousands. A very smart move in todays economy. And a very nice couple with a great future ahead of them. Location? Hollis, NH. Beautifully decorated NE house with an antique sled as a coffee table and surrounded by loving parents. Nice.
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July 31, 2008 at 3:08 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, marriage, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: card, custom, eclipse, moon, reading, sun, tarot, unique, vows, wedding
The tarot card table layout on a moss runner
hanging tapestries
I would like to welcome you all here today for a very special occasion.
The creation of a new power in the universe by the joining in marriage of Christina and Brian.
As you know this union has been fated to take place on a night when the moon and the sun share the same place in our sky.
Throughout history Solar eclipses have been seen as momentous happenings, and it is only fitting that such an event be used to mark this joyous occasion.
People from all cultures have evolved their own beliefs around eclipses. Before their occurrence could be accurately predicted, it must have seemed an amazing random celestial event. No wonder it inspired imaginations, especially in Egypt.
The Egyptian sun god Ra, traveled across the sky in his sun boat, and at night he passed through the underworld, greeting the dead and facing many dangers. Ra’s daily cycle was more than a journey, though—it was a daily rebirth. Dawn saw the newborn sun god rise in the sky. During the morning he was a child, at noon he was mature, and by sunset he was an old man ready for death. Each sunrise was a celebration of the god’s return, a victory of life over the forces of death and darkness. They worshipped the Sun with daily prayer.
“Thou risest in heaven’s horizon , and thy disk is adored when it resteth upon the mountain to give life unto the world.
Thou risest, thou risest, and thou comest forth from the god Nun. Thou dost renew thy youth and thou dost set thyself in the place where thou wast yesterday . O thou divine child, who didst create thyself, I am unable to describe thee.”
Christina and Brian welcomed with joy the rebirth of the Sun today, as it heralded the beginning of a new phase in their lives, one in which they shall move forward together. Each day they will rise with the Sun and each day shall their love be renewed. Their marriage will be as a new child that they are blessed with each morning and nurture through to the day’s end.
In keeping with the portents and omens that the solar eclipse inspires, we are sharing Christina and Brian’s vows with you in a unique fashion, with a reading of cards.
Our first card is the Sun which signifies power and genesis. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to work together to create a powerful marriage, to nurture that which is creative and to support each other in your endeavors?
B&C We do
Our second card is the Hanged Man which signifies transcendence and evolution. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to work together to overcome difficulties, to forgive small mistakes and use your life experiences in the evolution of your marriage?
B&C We do
Our third card is Strength which signifies endurance and fortitude. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to be strong for each other in all things. In sickness, and in health, through good times and bad?
B&C We do
Our fourth card is the Wheel of Fortune which signifies the cycles of life and fate. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to grow with the cycles of your lives together, to learn from each other, and to accept that life is not always easy and straightforward, but throws challenges to you to test your love?
B&C We do
Our fifth card is the Fool which signifies the exploring wanderer. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to give each other the dignity of growing and evolving as an individual, for although you are one couple, you are two bodies and two minds.?
B&C We do
Our sixth card is Judgment which signifies awakening and metamorphosis. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to help each other during difficult times. To make good decisions and to sometimes admit that the other is right?
B&C We do
Our seventh card is the Moon which signifies lunacy and delusion. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to each guide the other and offer a shoulder to cry on when everything seems bleak, and two arms to lift each other up when you are down?
B&C We do
Our last card is the Star which signifies the celestial. Do you Brian and Christina, promise to treat each day together as a gift, to let your love shine brightly and to stand as a beacon of togetherness?
B&C We do
Do we have the rings?
Brian place ring on Christina’s hand..
“with this ring I promise you the Sun, the Moon, the Stars and a world filled with love as my wife”
Christina place ring on Brian’s hand..
“with this ring I promise you the Sun, the Moon, the Stars and a world filled with love as my Husband”
Closing
In much of the world it is still common practice to make
noise to frighten away whatever is attacking the Sun or Moon.
It’s common to yell, chant, bang pots, and shoot into the air during an eclipse. Today we are going to make noise at the Eclipse to let the universe know that Christina and Brian are now amongst the forces to be reckoned with. Individually strong, but together; unstoppable.
By the power vested in me by the State of New Hampshire, I now declare you husband and wife.
You make kiss the bride.
I present to you Mr and Mrs L
Lets make some noise!
Bride and Groom
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March 26, 2008 at 7:52 am (brides, getting married, marriage, officiant)
Tags: cousins, legalities, marriage, names, sex, unions
There are a few basic requirements that are often overlooked but they will crop up during the event planning. Be prepared by having all the information at hand and neatly filed and accessible.
Legalities. Is your union legal? Check state laws. Are same sex unions legal. What are blood test and physical requirements? Are there time restrictions for filing? Are there restrictions for divorced couples in the timing? When do I report my name change? What information and legal documentation do I need to provide when applying for my license? Am I old enough? Am related to my partner too closely?
Religious requirements. If a religious ceremony you need to find out if you meet all the criteria for the ceremony. Some churches require premarital counseling. Some do not allow divorced couples to marry. Some will not officiate at an outdoor venue. Find out, and make alternate arrangements if necessary. Interfaith ministers and officiants will perform religious ceremonies in a manner consistent with your spiritual needs rather than the dogma of your faith.
Destination weddings. Check the legal requirements of the country or state that you are getting married in. They may differ tremendously from your own. Is the marriage considered legal in your home country if performed there? \
Marrying a foreign national. Is this legal? Do I have all my documentation in place? Will my spouse have to leave and apply for immigration documentation or can they stay and file here?
Prenuptial agreements. Do I need one? Should I talk to a lawyer? Why are they used? If you have family inheritance or assets that you do not want to lose for you family in the event of a divorce or death of your spouse, get a prenuptial agreement. This is essential in the case of family assets, as the family of you intended spouse will also have claims to them in certain circumstances. Often used to protect children from a first marriage.
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March 25, 2008 at 7:30 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married)
Tags: delegate, hair, jitters, nerves, organize., relax, stress, weddings
One of the things I have been told most often by my brides is that stress robs them of their rest time. It’s a bit of a catch 22, because the less they sleep, the more they worry and the more they worry, the less they sleep.
One bride to be can no longer wear her hair down as most of it is falling out! There’s so much to organize and then you are supposed to look your best ever, for the pictures. Tough call.
There are ways to cut down on the stress. Even for those who cannot hire professionals to do it for them.
Delegate - it’s hard to do, but ask another person to take responsibility for one of the tasks, like the limo hire or the flowers. Then trust them completely. No second guessing. If you chose them to do it, there was a trust there already and you have to stay true to that. Ask them to have it all done by a certain date, tell them your budget and requirements and have them make a file. When it’s all done, they simply hand you the file. Task completed. Moms, dads, sisters, brothers, best friends…rope them in.
Eat Well - Fruit and veggies are your best friends. Take a vitamin supplement. Your B vitamins control your nervous system and can calm your nerves. The ACE antioxidants will help you look better and your skin will thank you. C will also keep you well. Take a fish oil capsule before you go to bed at night for clear thinking processes.
Drink Water - Not only will skin and hair shine, but you will lose weight too. Lots and lots of water. Not the 300 calories a bottle kind, but good old fashioned plain H2O.
Give it up – If you can’t have it, let it go. No shade of peach just right, get the other one. No sky blue limo? Get the white one. No fuschia victorian lace gowns? Get the other ones. Too much moula for the room you wanted? Find somewhere else. Do NOT create problems where there are none.
Relax - meditation, massages, bubble baths, drinking chamomile tea. Whatever it takes, do it once a week. No excuses.
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March 19, 2008 at 2:39 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: beautiful, bride, elopement, intimate wedding., office wedding
the downside of office weddings is, like my appointment today, that the couple are often no-shows. They place a phone call asking for a short notice wedding, and agree to a time. Then just don’t turn up. I am seriously thinking of charging them a booking fee over the phone via paypal virtual terminal. I stay available for at least an hour in case they are late, and obviously have to be dressed, prepared, and have a ceremony tailored to them. It’s very disappointing when they just don’t show up.
The upside is of course, that there is no travel time involved, and you can’t be late or held up by bad weather. It is totally up to the couple to show up on time and they usually only have a couple of people with them, if any. There is no Mother of the Bride to deal with on her most nerve wracking day. No processional and no attendants. I love small weddings.
The larger ones are different for me, more like a stage show where everyone has a part to play. It makes people nervous and you have to be firm and respectfully instruct them in what is expected of them during the ceremony. Of course the drama is the icing on the elaborate cake of the wedding and it is the drama that makes the occasion so memorable. The fuss and the fanfare that marks such a large transition in the lives of two families and all their friends around them, right up to the effect on their community.
Marriage is a crucial step in the relationship of the couple and it reflects in how they are treated and in how they treat others. Life can never be the same again. It’s only fitting that it should be marked with as much pomp and circumstance as they can tolerate and in some cases, afford.
For those who don’t need that rite of passage, their is the intimate wedding wherein they and their closest family, sometimes also their children, gather to celebrate their love. As an officiant it doesn’t matter to me how many are in the ‘audience, it’s the two people in front of me that count. It is always personal. It is always a great thing to be part of. It is always true that all brides are indeed beautiful.
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March 17, 2008 at 12:35 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, grroms, marriage, nerves, officiant)
Tags: apples, brides, feet, grooms, hurt, locations., orchards, outdoor wedding, rain, shoes
There was one particular wedding that I will remember. The setting was a lovely apple orchard and the day dawned bright and sunny. Unfortunately the wedding was at the back of the orchard and the parking was in the front. The dew was covering the grass as I walked along the tractor furroughs to get to the set up for the wedding. Luckily I had worn flats and unluckily they were brand new ballet style shoes. Of course they were absolutely drenched and tightened on the way up the track. The ceremony went well, and the bride was absolutely stunning. I did have to walk around a lot prior to the wedding as I discovered that the groom was keeping watch on the track we had arrived by, but the bride was walking up a second track, and was almost upon us with no-one at the altar. Groom was standing with mom having a quick cigarette to calm his nerves when I just happened to glance behind the next tree…and there was the bride!!!
Needless to say, the places were taken quite quickly and the wedding progressed well. Bad for me were the ultra tight shoes I was now wearing and they hurt like crazy. A couple of pictures later and I had to walk back to my car. By the time I got there, I had skin missing from my feet and a couple of interesting blisters to mark the day. Fortunately I drive in one pair of comfy shoes, and had them in the car. lesson learned…take several pairs of shoes and swap them out as need be in outdoor locations.
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