Peter and Sharon, Tami and Adam

June 29, 2009 at 9:44 am (ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
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This event has quite the story behind it. I’ll start at the beginning.

Tami contacted me to ask if I would be available for a suprise vow renewal on her parents 40th wedding anniversary. I was, and we agreed that we liked each other and I booked the date. Her sister Paula lives in Germany and we cc’ed her on the emails so that her input was as great as ours even though she could not attend the event.

Behind the scenes Paula emailed me and asked if I would perform a surprise engagement blessing for Tami and her fiance Adam. I agreed happily. as a further surprise Paula and her son Dante were to travel to America for the event.

The plot unfolded. I worked on the vow renewal with the two sisters and on the blessing with just one sister. Being very very careful not to accidentally ‘reply to all’ on the secret ones.

The day arrived. Mom and Dad think they are just going to Grandfathers 86th Birthday celebration. I arrived, stashed my car and the archway out back, and watched them arrive to the party. Surprise! Banner proclaims ‘Happy 40th anniversay!’ flowers are presented to the couple, and there are tears. I’m thinking to myself, just wait!

Meanwhile, the engaged couple are unaware of the counterplot being hatched. I had made my booklet with the vows which I read from and then present to the couple. But, I had also made a small scroll tied with a ribbon which had the blessing on.

I assemble the arch out back, which is then carried out to the front of the building and now Mom and Dad know what is going to happen. Their faces are a sight to behold. Everyone gathers around, we have Canon in D, the couple arrive front and centre with three attendants holding flowers.

We perform the vows. There are more tears, some hugs, a few kisses. At this point we honour the deceased by having a member of the family place a rose in a memorial vase as the loved one’s name is called. 5 roses are in the vase. It is a very poignant moment. The ceremony is concluded with a dedication of love on behalf of their children, and then sealed with a kiss.

As I present the booklet to the couple I whisper to them that there is another surprise and ask them to just step back a few paces.

I call for Tami and Adam to come to the archway. Tami had no idea and for a moment didn’t quite believe it. Eventually we persuade her to come forward and I ask the couple to join hands. I announce that I have ’something else up my sleeve’ and from the sleeve of my robe I produce the scroll. I give the blessing of the engagement. And the couple seal it with a kiss.

I don’t think I have ever been hugged so hard by so many people at an event. This was truly a very loving family and they celebrated much history and the future to come at this event. It was a great honour to be part of it.

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Lewis & Marci

June 21, 2009 at 9:41 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, nerves, officiant, superstitions, wedding, wedding day)
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June 20th 2009 – Cathedral of the Pines, Rindge, NH, USA

What a great ceremony! I’ve worked with this couple for over a year planning this day, I was almost as excited as they were. Cathedral of the Pines is a stunning location in Rindge NH, which has opened it’s grounds to wedding parties. There is an outdoor altar for which the backdrop is Mount Monadnock. It’s open to the public until 5pm in season and they rope off the path to the wedding circle while the wedding is in progress. They have gardens and a fountain of life dedicated to Nursing staff which features a sculpted tree bearing fruit in the centre. The staff are extremely professional and run everything like clockwork, so you get the feel of a park wedding with the benefits of a venue.

This ceremony was a handfasting wherin I bound the couple with 6 cords, each cord had a specific intent/vow associated with it. I had one of the wedding party carry the cords for me and hand them one at a time as  I needed them. As the entire wedding party was made up of the happy couple and their three sons, it was very intimate. The young man in charge of the cords was very solemn and undertook his duties with great aplomb.

The hand tying done, I removed the cords, still knotted and placed them on the marble altar. There was an exchange of rings which was handled by the remaining two sons, they carried and handed over the rings to each parent, and one young man gave us quite the chuckle by teasing Mom with an “uhoh!” then laughed and took out the ring.

The pronouncement made, The Cathedral bells rang 3 times and then we performed a blended family Sand Ceremony. Each member of the family had chosen a quality that they celebrated within their home.

After each family member had stepped up and given their vow, the vase was sealed and the family blessed. The sand ceremony was thus concluded and the family was joined.

After the wedding party left for photos, I then completed the wedding ceremony by braiding both ends of the handfasting cords. This leaves the wedding knot in the middle of a braid. that now cannot now be undone without intent. I recommend that the couple attach a small bell to the bottom of the cord and hang it on the back of their bedroom door. If the door is slammed in anger, the bell will sound. This has a dual purpose; the sound of the bell will alert the spouse to the anger and the sound will remind the person who is angry of what brought them to that place as a married couple. The vows are in the cords and serve as a constant reminder of the intent and work needed to honour that intent.

As for the sand, the vase once sealed takes a place of honour in the household and is a daily symbol of the joining of unique individuals into a cohesive group who have chosen to share their lives with each other.

Congratulations Lewis, Marci, Brandon, Bailey and Cooper!

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Jennifer and Thomas

June 8, 2009 at 5:30 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, officiant, wedding, wedding day)

couplekiss

Congratulations to Thomas and Jennifer who were married on Saturday, June 6th, 2009 at the Courtyard Marriott Hotel, in Boston, MA.

The couple celebrated their ceremony in the Library Room with their friends and family. A truly beautiful setting which my amateur photographs really don’t do justice. [from Bride :

Thanks Debi! The link to our professional wedding photos is: http://www.theprosphotos.com

Go to the Guests login and enter June, 2009, and Jennifer or Thomas, then click on the link with our names]

The couple had a double ring exchange ceremony which also included a unity candle ceremony. The individual candles were lit by the couples respective mothers, and a memorial candle was honoured for the deceased.

The ceremony was simple, touching and highly emotive. The personal vows celebrated the love and respect that Thomas and Jennifer have for each other as individuals and together as husband and wife.

The reading for the ceremony was an ancient Chinese reading, which is still appropriate today in it’s wisdom.

“The key to love is understanding…

The ability to comprehend not only the spoken word,

but those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves.

The key to love is forgiveness…

to accept each others faults and pardon mistakes,

without forgetting, but by always learning and adapting.

The key to love is sharing…

Facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;

both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness.

The key to love is giving…

without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile,

and by giving in but never giving up.

The key to love is respect…

realizing that you are two separate people with different ideas;

that you don’t belong to each other, that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.

The key to love is inside us all…

It takes time and patience to fully comprehend all that love can provide;

it is a continual learning process that demands a lot of work…

but the rewards are more than worth the effort…

and that is the key to love.”


Congratulations, Thomas and Jennifer!

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A cute home wedding.

November 21, 2008 at 12:31 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
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Last weekend I received a call from a young lady who was thinking of getting married ‘in the next few days’. she asked that I call her back. We played phone tag for a while, and when I eventually reached her she explained that they just wanted to get married with no or minimal fuss. I asked a few vital questions. Do you know what you want to say? No, just bring whatever you usually do. Do you want a civil or religious? Well, the grooms parents are Baptists, so we’ll have a religious ceremony please. What day? Wednesday. What time? Noon. Do you have your license? Yes. Okay, see you then.

How easy was that? I wish they all went that way.

I arrived at the parents home early to have the couple look over the ceremony that I had written for them. They were very calm and both approved the ceremony with no changes required. Introductions were made. We chose an indoor location as it was very, very, very cold outside. Gotta love New England in November. Father of the groom took photos of the 5 people in the room. I waited until everyone was settled. Couple were in front of a fireplace decorated with wedding balloons. The ceremony began and when it came to the vows, the bride shed a few tears. We paused for her groom to comfort her and I always encourage hugs. Concluded the ceremony, and everyone was happy. I gave them a printed copy of their vows on rose paper, for scrapbooking or framing purposes. And that was that!

For a hassle free wedding at very low cost, they were just as married as the couples spending thousands. A very smart move in todays economy. And a very nice couple with a great future ahead of them. Location? Hollis, NH. Beautifully decorated NE house with an antique sled as a coffee table and surrounded by loving parents. Nice.

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Office weddings

March 19, 2008 at 2:39 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
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the downside of office weddings is, like my appointment today, that the couple are often no-shows. They place a phone call asking for a short notice wedding, and agree to a time. Then just don’t turn up. I am seriously thinking of charging them a booking fee over the phone via paypal virtual terminal. I stay available for at least an hour in case they are late, and obviously have to be dressed, prepared, and have a ceremony tailored to them. It’s very disappointing when they just don’t show up.

The  upside is of course, that there is no travel time involved, and you can’t be late or held up by bad weather. It is totally up to the couple to show up on time and they usually only have a couple of people with them, if any. There is no Mother of the Bride to deal with on her most nerve wracking day. No processional and no attendants. I love small weddings.

The larger ones are different for me, more like a stage show where everyone has a part to play. It makes people nervous and you have to be firm and respectfully instruct them in what is expected of them during the ceremony. Of course the drama is the icing on the elaborate cake of the wedding and it is the drama that makes the occasion so memorable. The fuss and the fanfare that marks such a large transition in the lives of two families and all their friends around them, right up to the effect on their community.

Marriage is a crucial step in the relationship of the couple and it reflects in how they are treated and in how they treat others. Life can never be the same again. It’s only fitting that it should be marked with as much pomp and circumstance as they can tolerate and in some cases, afford.

For those who don’t need that rite of passage, their is the intimate wedding wherein they and their closest family, sometimes also their children, gather to celebrate their love.  As an officiant it doesn’t matter to me how many are in the ‘audience, it’s the two people in front of me that count. It is always personal. It is always a great thing to be part of. It is always true that all brides are indeed beautiful.

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The wedding in the orchard…

March 17, 2008 at 12:35 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, grroms, marriage, nerves, officiant)
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There was one particular wedding that I will remember. The setting was a lovely apple orchard and the day dawned bright and sunny. Unfortunately the wedding was at the back of the orchard and the parking was in the front. The dew was covering the grass as I walked along the tractor furroughs to get to the set up for the wedding. Luckily I had worn flats and unluckily they were brand new ballet style shoes. Of course they were absolutely drenched and tightened on the way up the track. The ceremony went well, and the bride was absolutely stunning. I did have to walk around a lot prior to the wedding as I discovered that the groom was keeping watch on the track we had arrived by, but the bride was walking up a second track, and was almost upon us with no-one at the altar. Groom was standing with mom having a quick cigarette to calm his nerves when I just happened to glance behind the next tree…and there was the bride!!!

Needless to say, the places were taken quite quickly and the wedding progressed well. Bad for me were the ultra tight shoes I was now wearing and they hurt like crazy. A couple of pictures later and I had to walk back to my car. By the time I got there, I had skin missing from my feet and a couple of interesting blisters to mark the day. Fortunately I drive in one pair of comfy shoes, and had them in the car. lesson learned…take several pairs of shoes and swap them out as need be in outdoor locations.

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Ideas for readings…short poems

March 17, 2008 at 12:28 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, nerves, officiant)
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Short Poems


These Poems could be used as is……or quoted from
Love’s Trinity
by Alfred Austin

Soul, heart, and body, we thus singly name,
Are not in love divisible and distinct,
But each with each inseparably link’d.
One is not honour, and the other shame,
But burn as closely fused as fuel, heat, and flame.

They do not love who give the body and keep
The heart ungiven; nor they who yield the soul,
And guard the body. Love doth give the whole;
Its range being high as heaven, as ocean deep,
Wide as the realms of air or planet’s curving sweep

Love
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

And in Life’s noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart’s Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within ;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro’ all my Being, thro’ my pulse’s beat ;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.

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A happy event…

March 16, 2008 at 7:39 pm (ceremonies, getting married, grooms, officiant, wedding)
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Last night I received a phone call from a person I had not seen in over a year. Last I heard, his wife had left him whilst he was in Australia on business, he came home to a cleaned out apartment. No-one was more shocked than he, as he had no inkling of impending doom in what seemed to be the ideal relationship. Now he has become engaged to a fantastic woman and they were trying to arrange a marriage. She of course, wanted the spiritual side of their romance to be celebrated along with the legal requirements. Yet again local ministers would not perform the ceremony as he is a divorced person. Here’s where I step in. I love helping those people that other groups turn away. It wasn’t his fault he got divorced, so why should he be penalized and not able to provide his new bride with her dream wedding.

He called me and said ‘I told my fiancee, there is ONE minister I know who won’t give us a judgmental decision, but who will celebrate the fact that we found each other’ What a compliment! I immediately agreed to officiate their wedding, and I am honoured to be asked.  I am so happy for him that he found new love and can move on from his bad experience.

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The Groom

March 12, 2008 at 1:49 pm (ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, superstitions)
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During the service, the Groom stands on the right of the Bride. This presumably goes back to the days when a gentleman wore a sword – should any man challenge the Groom to his right to his Bride, he was free to draw his sword with his right hand whilst protecting or holding his Bride with his left. It is thought to be why men escorting ladies walk on that side also. See any renaissance faire in your area.

Carrying his Bride over the threshold dates back to when it was thought a new Bride was vulnerable to evil spirits and bad luck – he would carry her over the threshold so leaving the evil spirits and bad luck on the outside. And pretty much to stop her turning into an evil, scolding shrew due to the spirits taking over her body while she was between girlhood and womanhood.

.The ‘Best’ Man

In the times when a Groom would kidnap his Bride, incurring the wrath of her father and family, the Best Man (the Groom’s most trusted friend) was there to help in any fight.
When it came to the ceremony, he was there just in case the father or family decided to take the Bride back

Tying the Knot

The phrase ‘tie the knot’ comes from the Romans – the bride wore a girdle with lots of knots, which the groom had the fun of untying. Also from the placing and binding of cords on the hands during a handfasting ceremony.




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Keeping the rings safe…

March 10, 2008 at 1:39 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, grooms, marriage, officiant, wedding, wedding day)

The rings should be either on the Ring bearer’s pillow or in the custody of the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor. If carried by the two “best people,” the Best Man should carry the Bride’s ring on his little finger, and the Maid of Honor should carry the Groom’s ring on her index finger or thumb. Don’t let the Best Man put the ring in any pocket. Don’t have either one of them carry the ring in a bag or box. Pockets, bags & boxes increase the chances for dropping and/or losing the ring. Of every 10 rings misplaced or lost at wedding time, 8 have been lost by the Maid of Honor. She has a big ring you have asked her to put on her relatively small finger. For Maid of Honor and Best Man, have them put the ring on a finger, and then curl their fingers. Then the ring isn’t going anywhere. If rings are on the Ring bearer’s pillow, the Best Man will remove them and give them to the Officiant one at a time with the Bride’s ring first; or deliver both at the same time, at the option of the Officiant.

Remember that if you are to have small children carrying the rings for you, practice is the key. They will not always understand that they have to give up the rings, especially as they were probably instructed to guard them carefully!
If you think the child will have difficulty, have the best man keep the real rings in his pocket and the child can carry dummy rings to relinquish to the officiant/best man as desired.
You don’t want them upset, and it’s very stressful to be centre stage at a tender age.
Decide whether you are removing the rings from the pillow, or taking the whole pillow, because you need to know where you are going to put it once you have it. Small things are often overlooked in the arrangements.

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