Peter and Sharon, Tami and Adam

This event has quite the story behind it. I’ll start at the beginning.

Tami contacted me to ask if I would be available for a suprise vow renewal on her parents 40th wedding anniversary. I was, and we agreed that we liked each other and I booked the date. Her sister Paula lives in Germany and we cc’ed her on the emails so that her input was as great as ours even though she could not attend the event.

Behind the scenes Paula emailed me and asked if I would perform a surprise engagement blessing for Tami and her fiance Adam. I agreed happily. as a further surprise Paula and her son Dante were to travel to America for the event.

The plot unfolded. I worked on the vow renewal with the two sisters and on the blessing with just one sister. Being very very careful not to accidentally ‘reply to all’ on the secret ones.

The day arrived. Mom and Dad think they are just going to Grandfathers 86th Birthday celebration. I arrived, stashed my car and the archway out back, and watched them arrive to the party. Surprise! Banner proclaims ‘Happy 40th anniversay!’ flowers are presented to the couple, and there are tears. I’m thinking to myself, just wait!

Meanwhile, the engaged couple are unaware of the counterplot being hatched. I had made my booklet with the vows which I read from and then present to the couple. But, I had also made a small scroll tied with a ribbon which had the blessing on.

I assemble the arch out back, which is then carried out to the front of the building and now Mom and Dad know what is going to happen. Their faces are a sight to behold. Everyone gathers around, we have Canon in D, the couple arrive front and centre with three attendants holding flowers.

We perform the vows. There are more tears, some hugs, a few kisses. At this point we honour the deceased by having a member of the family place a rose in a memorial vase as the loved one’s name is called. 5 roses are in the vase. It is a very poignant moment. The ceremony is concluded with a dedication of love on behalf of their children, and then sealed with a kiss.

As I present the booklet to the couple I whisper to them that there is another surprise and ask them to just step back a few paces.

I call for Tami and Adam to come to the archway. Tami had no idea and for a moment didn’t quite believe it. Eventually we persuade her to come forward and I ask the couple to join hands. I announce that I have ’something else up my sleeve’ and from the sleeve of my robe I produce the scroll. I give the blessing of the engagement. And the couple seal it with a kiss.

I don’t think I have ever been hugged so hard by so many people at an event. This was truly a very loving family and they celebrated much history and the future to come at this event. It was a great honour to be part of it.

Tami and Adam with nephew Dante

Peter & sharon, very much in love after 40 years of marriage.

Lewis & Marci

June 20th 2009 – Cathedral of the Pines, Rindge, NH, USA

What a great ceremony! I’ve worked with this couple for over a year planning this day, I was almost as excited as they were. Cathedral of the Pines is a stunning location in Rindge NH, which has opened it’s grounds to wedding parties. There is an outdoor altar for which the backdrop is Mount Monadnock. It’s open to the public until 5pm in season and they rope off the path to the wedding circle while the wedding is in progress. They have gardens and a fountain of life dedicated to Nursing staff which features a sculpted tree bearing fruit in the centre. The staff are extremely professional and run everything like clockwork, so you get the feel of a park wedding with the benefits of a venue.

This ceremony was a handfasting wherin I bound the couple with 6 cords, each cord had a specific intent/vow associated with it. I had one of the wedding party carry the cords for me and hand them one at a time as  I needed them. As the entire wedding party was made up of the happy couple and their three sons, it was very intimate. The young man in charge of the cords was very solemn and undertook his duties with great aplomb.

The hand tying done, I removed the cords, still knotted and placed them on the marble altar. There was an exchange of rings which was handled by the remaining two sons, they carried and handed over the rings to each parent, and one young man gave us quite the chuckle by teasing Mom with an “uhoh!” then laughed and took out the ring.

The pronouncement made, The Cathedral bells rang 3 times and then we performed a blended family Sand Ceremony. Each member of the family had chosen a quality that they celebrated within their home.

Sand, Vase, sculptures of family

Closeup of the engraving/monogram

Closeup of the individual vials of sand

Bringing of Mother and Son to the family

Bringing of Father and two Sons to the family

The completed ceremony and braided handfasting cord

After each family member had stepped up and given their vow, the vase was sealed and the family blessed. The sand ceremony was thus concluded and the family was joined.

After the wedding party left for photos, I then completed the wedding ceremony by braiding both ends of the handfasting cords. This leaves the wedding knot in the middle of a braid. that now cannot now be undone without intent. I recommend that the couple attach a small bell to the bottom of the cord and hang it on the back of their bedroom door. If the door is slammed in anger, the bell will sound. This has a dual purpose; the sound of the bell will alert the spouse to the anger and the sound will remind the person who is angry of what brought them to that place as a married couple. The vows are in the cords and serve as a constant reminder of the intent and work needed to honour that intent.

As for the sand, the vase once sealed takes a place of honour in the household and is a daily symbol of the joining of unique individuals into a cohesive group who have chosen to share their lives with each other.

Congratulations Lewis, Marci, Brandon, Bailey and Cooper!

Day 3 – or should that be Zero?

I did not run today. My legs are screaming. Who would have thought it would be this uncomfortable? I walked for 30 minutes again yesterday and will do so today. I really wanted to run, but I can’t risk injury. I have a wedding on Saturday. I not only have to wear heels, but to climb onto a podium. Limping in is not an option. I’ll go for a jog or bike ride tomorrow night if I can. If not, then all bets are off until Sunday. At least then I will have all week before my next wedding to recover.

I’m not discouraged. I see the pain as proof that I need to do this. From a ‘use it or lose it’ point of view, it’s time to use it. It wasn’t just the exercise that made me feel great all day. It was the fact that I actually did it. A great sense of achievement, albeit short lived. I haven’t given up yet.

So, I’ve been researching the best way to get my  fat self off the couch and into skinny jeans safely. In my previous existence as a slender waif of a track bunny, I used to subscribe to Runners World Magazine. I wondered if it was still as good as I remembered. Good news. It’s better. Thanks to the power of the InterWeb they are online with great resources for the beginning runner.

They have a marvelous shoe finder app. that will let the newbie answer a few questions and perform a wet test [leave a wet footprint on paper] so you can analyze where you put your weight. The answers you give will bring back a suitable shoe recommendation. The best investment you will ever make in running is in your shoes. Buy the best you can afford for your needs.

Racefinder, Pathfinder, Smartcoach, 8 Week Beginners Training Plan, RSS feeds and a newbie runners forum. Get on over there, it’s invaluable! Of course the magazine is still available and if you sign up now you get two trial issues. I susbcribed because I find it motivational to have in my house. I have always been a firm believer that you are what you think you are, so having runners paraphenalia around the house creates in my mind confirmation that I am a runner. What do runners do? They run. Ergo, i run.

www.runnersworld.com Have fun!

Day 2 – complete failure on the running front!

Well, as with all the best laid plans of mice and men, I messed it up. I got so engrossed in the x-files marathon we were having that I stayed up until midnight and slept right through my 5 am alarm. Unfortunately my mundane job at jolly old www.plumchoice.com was beckoning and I had to leave the house at 6 am. Needless to say I left at 6:10 am, drove to the gas station and filled my tank. Without a coat and wearing leather sandals because I had thought it was sunny again. Doh! So much for being organized.

Oh well. tomorrow is another day and tonight I will go to bed on time. Really. I will.

On the brighter side, I got an email this morning telling me that Amazon.com had picked up my book and listed it on their site. Woohoo! That was totally unexpected and wonderful. I finished the three wedding ceremonies I was working on and booked another for October. Now if only I could wake up tomorrow and find 40 pounds magickally melted away, that would be awesome!

Did I mention ow! my legs! My shins are hurting. I don’t have shin splints but they certainly know they have been used for the first time in about 10 years.

It begins….the skinny girl wants out…

It’s not a big deal really. Or so I told myself. All those wedding photos that I am in. You think it’s tough being in one lot, try being in about 10 a month. I started to get very critical of  my appearance. After all, everyone else has worked hard to look good in the pictures, why shouldn’t I?

Over the past year and a half I have had a number of surgeries and at one point became quite unwell. I was told to ‘take it easy’ on the road to becoming fit and well again. ‘About a year’ was the estimated time of expected recovery and life possibly being normal again. Well, that was 40 pounds ago. A lack of exercise is a terrible thing for a woman of 48 who is only 5 feet 2 inches tall. My wardrobe is full of cute clothes that haven’t been worn, and a big pile of baggy T shirts and leggings that are almost worn out. I’ve had enough.

A month ago I started walking every day for 30 minutes, rain or shine. I recruited a friend to walk with me. She does not like rain. So on rainy days, I walk alone. It’s actually very relaxing and therapeutic. I have always liked rain. I found that after 2 weeks I actually don’t feel as good if I don’t walk. There’s a marked difference in my day. Weight loss? Zero. But I do feel better.

I was trying to think of a way to accelerate the weight loss healthily, without a huge dietary change. i eat pretty much a meditteranean style diet, and a lot of vegan dishes so there’s not much to trim there. Then it hit me. I used to run as a teen and when my children were teens we would do ‘fun runs’ together as a family activity. Nothing serious. Just 5 miles of run til you need to walk, run some more, get a medal and/or a T shirt, feel great and go home. We used to have a rack for each of us on the wall with all these ribbons and medals hanging from them. It made us feel good and as a family activity it was a pretty even field. [of course they used to have to wait for mom].

So this is my goal. I want to go from 167 pounds to 125 pounds. Who is with me?

Today is day 1. I got up at 5 am and ran for 15 minutes. Well, I call it running. It was more of a run, wheeze, walk, jog, wheeze, wonder what the heck I am doing out of bed, run, limp, wheeze, walk, run. My legs got so wobbly that I thought they might give out, and my arms burned. Bear in mind that I had taken the wise step of wrapping my chest with a big ace bandage to keep ‘the girls’ under control. So here I am. Fresh spring morning, fat flying in the breeze, bandaged like a mummy. Wheezing and puffing like the big bad wolf at the pigs house.

I finally made it home and those stairs looked like the side of a mountain. Each leg felt like ti weighed 60 pounds on its own. A nice cooling shower, all scrubbed up and clean, and wow, the energy. I do hurt and ache, don’t get me wrong, and tomorrow I will probably suffer more. Will I be out again in the morning. You betcha!

A cute home wedding.

Last weekend I received a call from a young lady who was thinking of getting married ‘in the next few days’. she asked that I call her back. We played phone tag for a while, and when I eventually reached her she explained that they just wanted to get married with no or minimal fuss. I asked a few vital questions. Do you know what you want to say? No, just bring whatever you usually do. Do you want a civil or religious? Well, the grooms parents are Baptists, so we’ll have a religious ceremony please. What day? Wednesday. What time? Noon. Do you have your license? Yes. Okay, see you then.

How easy was that? I wish they all went that way.

I arrived at the parents home early to have the couple look over the ceremony that I had written for them. They were very calm and both approved the ceremony with no changes required. Introductions were made. We chose an indoor location as it was very, very, very cold outside. Gotta love New England in November. Father of the groom took photos of the 5 people in the room. I waited until everyone was settled. Couple were in front of a fireplace decorated with wedding balloons. The ceremony began and when it came to the vows, the bride shed a few tears. We paused for her groom to comfort her and I always encourage hugs. Concluded the ceremony, and everyone was happy. I gave them a printed copy of their vows on rose paper, for scrapbooking or framing purposes. And that was that!

For a hassle free wedding at very low cost, they were just as married as the couples spending thousands. A very smart move in todays economy. And a very nice couple with a great future ahead of them. Location? Hollis, NH. Beautifully decorated NE house with an antique sled as a coffee table and surrounded by loving parents. Nice.

Chapel wedding in New London, NH

I was recently contacted by a very nice young couple who had planned a wedding, but had no officiant and only 2 weeks to go. I was available on the date that they needed. Unfortunately the bride wanted a rehearsal and I was fully booked the day before. New London is about an hour and a half away from me, so it would be a 4 hour turnaround for each day. I assured them that I could get them scripted well enough that they wouldn’t need me, but the bride became nervous. They offered to book me into a local inn for the night, but that didn’t work with my obligations. So, I calculated that if I only had 5 hours sleep, drove there, limited rehearsal time strictly to one hour, drove back, gathered my energies, drove the 40 miles in the opposite direction, I could make it to my next appointment with 15 minutes grace. Phew!

Of course, this is November and weather can be a nightmare. So fingers crossed! The day dawned with the promise of rain. November rain, the type that slows you down, makes visibility an issue and would mess up my plans entirely. I set out on my journey with a ‘Que Sera’ attitude, and plenty of bottled water. As luck would have it, New London is located such that I had to drive most of the time on my favourite stretch of road which is I-89. That road is truly a pleasure, fast, straight and not too busy. I arrived at the rehearsal, it went smoothly, I jumped in my car and headed back. I made it with 10 minutes to spare.

The next day was way more relaxed. Still raining, but no urgency, I had extra time to allow myself. I do have a unique style to my weddings which puzzles people until after the event. But everytime I complete the ceremony, the family come up to me and tell me how wonderful it was. I like to create a focus of the couple being centre stage, but also to make the ceremony intimate to the guests, as if they are right there with them. No matter how many guests there are, it always works well. Basically it boils down to me having the atmosphere of them standing in front of their family to make their vows, rather than in front of me and the family as witnesses.

All went well, and the entire chapel was filled with sniffles as they gave their personal vows to each other. Personal, heartfelt and sincere words are the best vows that can be made. I had to pause for a breath before continuing after watching this couple pour out their hearts to each other. All in all, I was very glad that I made the effort to help the bride feel better on the day. And she was stunning. Even better, the groom and his groomsmen all wore suits and Chucky T’s. LOL..

Office weddings

the downside of office weddings is, like my appointment today, that the couple are often no-shows. They place a phone call asking for a short notice wedding, and agree to a time. Then just don’t turn up. I am seriously thinking of charging them a booking fee over the phone via paypal virtual terminal. I stay available for at least an hour in case they are late, and obviously have to be dressed, prepared, and have a ceremony tailored to them. It’s very disappointing when they just don’t show up.

The  upside is of course, that there is no travel time involved, and you can’t be late or held up by bad weather. It is totally up to the couple to show up on time and they usually only have a couple of people with them, if any. There is no Mother of the Bride to deal with on her most nerve wracking day. No processional and no attendants. I love small weddings.

The larger ones are different for me, more like a stage show where everyone has a part to play. It makes people nervous and you have to be firm and respectfully instruct them in what is expected of them during the ceremony. Of course the drama is the icing on the elaborate cake of the wedding and it is the drama that makes the occasion so memorable. The fuss and the fanfare that marks such a large transition in the lives of two families and all their friends around them, right up to the effect on their community.

Marriage is a crucial step in the relationship of the couple and it reflects in how they are treated and in how they treat others. Life can never be the same again. It’s only fitting that it should be marked with as much pomp and circumstance as they can tolerate and in some cases, afford.

For those who don’t need that rite of passage, their is the intimate wedding wherein they and their closest family, sometimes also their children, gather to celebrate their love.  As an officiant it doesn’t matter to me how many are in the ‘audience, it’s the two people in front of me that count. It is always personal. It is always a great thing to be part of. It is always true that all brides are indeed beautiful.

The wedding in the orchard…

There was one particular wedding that I will remember. The setting was a lovely apple orchard and the day dawned bright and sunny. Unfortunately the wedding was at the back of the orchard and the parking was in the front. The dew was covering the grass as I walked along the tractor furroughs to get to the set up for the wedding. Luckily I had worn flats and unluckily they were brand new ballet style shoes. Of course they were absolutely drenched and tightened on the way up the track. The ceremony went well, and the bride was absolutely stunning. I did have to walk around a lot prior to the wedding as I discovered that the groom was keeping watch on the track we had arrived by, but the bride was walking up a second track, and was almost upon us with no-one at the altar. Groom was standing with mom having a quick cigarette to calm his nerves when I just happened to glance behind the next tree…and there was the bride!!!

Needless to say, the places were taken quite quickly and the wedding progressed well. Bad for me were the ultra tight shoes I was now wearing and they hurt like crazy. A couple of pictures later and I had to walk back to my car. By the time I got there, I had skin missing from my feet and a couple of interesting blisters to mark the day. Fortunately I drive in one pair of comfy shoes, and had them in the car. lesson learned…take several pairs of shoes and swap them out as need be in outdoor locations.

Ideas for readings…short poems

Short Poems

These Poems could be used as is……or quoted from
Love’s Trinity
by Alfred Austin

Soul, heart, and body, we thus singly name,
Are not in love divisible and distinct,
But each with each inseparably link’d.
One is not honour, and the other shame,
But burn as closely fused as fuel, heat, and flame.

They do not love who give the body and keep
The heart ungiven; nor they who yield the soul,
And guard the body. Love doth give the whole;
Its range being high as heaven, as ocean deep,
Wide as the realms of air or planet’s curving sweep

Love
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

And in Life’s noisiest hour,
There whispers still the ceaseless Love of Thee,
The heart’s Self-solace and soliloquy.
You mould my Hopes, you fashion me within ;
And to the leading Love-throb in the Heart
Thro’ all my Being, thro’ my pulse’s beat ;
You lie in all my many Thoughts, like Light,
Like the fair light of Dawn, or summer Eve
On rippling Stream, or cloud-reflecting Lake.
And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,
How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.