October 5, 2009 at 8:40 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, marriage, nerves, officiant, wedding, wedding day)
Tags: 2009, bride, ceremony, getting hitched, good luck, marriage, married, marry, minister, officiant, officiants, vows, wedding, wedding day, weddings
I was lucky enough to be contacted back in February by a great couple who I then proceeded to meet at my favourite Panera for tea. We had a nice long interesting chat and got along really well. The big family wedding was then booked for September.
I have never worked with such laid back people. They said ‘write us something’ so I did. The viewed it and only made two changes to the text, to include personal references that their family would enjoy sharing. In the middle of all this excitement they were actually working on their house construction project. My first visit to view the area where the wedding was to take place in their back yard, was enhanced by home made coffee cake and Tetley British Blend Tea. Just as well. we were looking at the stunning back yard, which at that point was a big marsh. The rain had been coming down steadily for days and there was simply no grass. Just mud. Add in the construction work and you can see why they needed an expert eye on the plot.
The space was perfect, and we had a couple of months to go, so I was not worried. I kept a close eye on FaceBook for accounts of the construction progress and watched as a beautiful home was transformed into a stunning home. I got regular updates such as ‘Debi, we have railings!’ accompanied by pictures of the extended and now ’safe’ deck.
The day arrived. I drove to their home which was filled to the brim with happy people. The brides were very informal and this was a great wedding. More like a family and friends party with an added extra. I love those!
We decided against the spot chosen for the ceremony as [you guessed it] it was raining persistently. So the new deck was christened in a very special way. And, yes, it had railings. The yard was tented off and the seating protected from the rain. The food was excellent and the company was good. What more could you want ?
Congratulations to you both!
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May 17, 2009 at 8:21 am (wedding day)
Tags: bookings, borrowed, bride, bubbles, ceremony, getting hitched, good luck, groom, married, minister, officiant, readings, strategy, vows, wedding day, weddings
The season has finally begun for me after somewhat of a slow start. I’ve already had quite a few changes to my schedule for various reasons. The weather has affected a lot of people and of course the other important climate; the economic one.
Brides are being choosier as to where they want to spend their money and more emphasis is being put on the ceremony and the emotive value of the actual marriage celebration. I think this is a good thing. Of course, I would. It’s very stressful for people who are putting together their own wedding. And I think the major issue is that it all seems so easy until you have to do it. The small things get you.
It’s one thing to book a caterer, but then you need to decide who goes where, what shape of table, what colour linens, what are we drinking, when are we drinking it etc, etc, etc. This is even true for a small home wedding. Just where is the best place for the food to go, and who is looking after it during the day?
Often the best wedding gift you can give is help. If you know the couple are planning a wedding themselves at home, just see if you can help in any way. Simple things that ease the pressure. It could be as easy as, I’ll make sure the plates on the buffet stay replenished, or I’ll stack bottles of water for those trying to stay hydrated in the hot sun. I’ve officiated at weddings where the bride is running around madly in her gown, and it’s almost a welcome breather when she gets to take time out for the ceremony.
If your budget allows for a wedding planner, I do recommend that you use one. If not, then why not ask a good friend or family member to be your planner and bounce ideas off each other. Remember to choose someone that you can argue with, preferably someone that is NOT contributing financially to the event. That way you avoid them feeling that they have the right to override your decisions. On the other hand, don’t treat them as a ‘wedding employee’. No bridezilla tactics allowed!
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May 15, 2008 at 8:15 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: certificate, checklist, duties, minister, officiant, preparation, vows, wedding
The countdown begins. What are things that I have to organize today?
Well, my robe is cleaned and hanging in a protective bag. My shoes are cleaned and in their protective bag. My spare shoes are cleaned, and my third pair for muddy conditions are packed also. Pants and shirt are ready. I will, of course check these about 50 times before the wedding.
The vows are printed and placed in my book for the ceremony. My music stand is ready and decorated for the outdoor wedding [i use it as a bookholder], my PA system has fresh batteries and is set for the approximate sound quality to save time at the rehearsal.
My suit and shoes are ready for the rehearsal. Not too formal as it helps people relax if I am a little casual, but formal enough that I can get their attention and have them listen to me on such an exciting occasion.
The mapquest directions are printed and in a file along with copies of all the conversations that we have ever had. Drafts of other vows are included to allow for last minute changes if needed. PDA is loaded with examples of vows.
Contact numbers and cell information of the bride, groom and a third person at the wedding are printed and in the file. Everything has two copies stored separately in my Palm and on paper..double indemnity.
Umbrella, pins, pens, glue, first aid kit, Tide pen, tissues, aspirin, bottles of water? Check.
Digital camera, several sets of batteries, packed and easy to get to. Fanny pack for storing said items under robe.
Bug spray, hair products, mirror, spare ring pillow, white ribbons, candles, matches, hmmm…am I forgetting anything?
Decorative wedding certificate, after wedding instruction letter, printed decorative copy of vows. License information, copy of contract, I think that does it…
Who said it only takes 20 minutes to perform a wedding? Phew!
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March 17, 2008 at 12:25 am (brides, ceremonies, getting married, marriage)
Tags: bride, officiant, vows, wedding ceremonies, words
Basic Civil Ceremony [1]
Repeat after me), [name] I take you to be my lawfully wedding
(husband/wife).
Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for
You, as long as we both shall live.
I take you, with all your faults and your strengths,
as I offer myself to you with my faults and my
strengths.
I will help you when you need help,
and I will turn to you when I need help.
I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my
life.
Basic Civil Ceremony [2]
Will you please, as an expression that your hearts are
joined together in love, now join your hands.
[Groom's name], do you take [Bride's name] to be your
wedded wife, to live together in marriage.
Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour and
keep her
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness
and health
And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her.
So long as you both shall live?
[Groom]: “I do”
[Bride's name], do you take [Groom's name] to be your
wedded husband to live together in marriage
Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honour and
keep him
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness
and health
And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him
So long as you both shall live?
[Bride]: “ I do”
You can choose one ceremony – or combine the two [ works well] and/or add personally written vows if you would like.
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March 12, 2008 at 1:29 pm (brides, ceremonies, getting married, officiant)
Tags: bookings, cancel, contract, deposits, officiant, wedding
How many times have you had an elated couple contact you, decide that you are indeed ‘the one’ and never hear from them again? If you are like me and depend a lot on the internet for efficient and documented contact, you can run into ‘email silence’. This week alone I have had two brides who talked effusively on the telephone, one had the contract ‘in her hand, all signed’ , the other was ’so excited to have found me’. And now? They dropped off the face of the Earth.
It is vital to get the contract signed, the deposit paid and all the loose ends tied up as soon as possible. The smooth running of your weddings depends upon it. Now I cannot freely take another booking on those dates until I hear from the brides, and so it ties me up. I would hate to book someone else and then have the bride expect me to be available, so I have to get tough. No deposit, no contract = no booking.
I worry about those brides…do they think they booked me? Will they easily get another officiant if I am not available…what to do, what to do? The reality. Contact. Send Emails, call their phones and leave messages. I politely inform them that I have another inquiry for that date, and could they please let me know if I am now free to take that booking or if I am still needed for their own ceremony. If I have no reply to 3 contacts, I consider myself free to book.
For the couples, please be efficient in your requests and make sure that communication with your officiant is clear and honest. If you found another officiant you prefer. Then please cancel your request with the first one. It really is the well mannered way to proceed and the offficiant will certainly respect your considerations.
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March 10, 2008 at 1:42 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: bride, children, groom, officiant, rehearsal, rings, wedding
Step One — Everyone in Place:
Line up the wedding party where they will be standing for the wedding ceremony.
Groom and his attendants on Officiant’s left
Bride and her attendants on Officiant’s right
The Bride and Groom face each other
The Ring Bearer in front of the Groom’s attendants
Flower Girl(s) in front of the Bride’s attendants
Step Two — Practice the Recessional:
Who is leaving first, who is going where.
Step Three — Seating the Guests:
The ushers seat the family and honored guests at the announced time of the wedding.
Suggested order for special guests:
Grandparents of the groom
Grandparents of the bride
Parents of the groom
Mother of the bride
Step Four – Processional:
Now the bridal party goes to the places from where they will enter on the wedding day. Groom and his attendants go to the side (stage left, Officiant’s left side). The Bride and her attendants go to the back of the hall.
Wedding party enters and takes places where they were in Step One.
Step Five – Ceremony:
Officiant may ask “Who brings her here on this happy day of her life?” or “Who brings this woman to marry this man?” The person or persons escorting the bride usually say: “I do”, …
“We do”, or “On behalf of all who love her, I do”.
Bride’s escort takes seat in first row
Officiant Performs the Ceremony
The rings should be either on the Ring bearer’s pillow or in the custody of the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor.
Step Six — Practice Recessional again:
If you follow these guidelines, even print them out for the wedding party, everyone will know what they have to do and it saves confusion on the day of the wedding.
Practicing takes the stress out for all involved, and hopefully helps your wedding go smoother.
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